Finding Love Today Without False Expectations Of Having A Successful Relationship
What are your expectations in a relationship and what does it mean having realistic relationship expectations? At times, it is quite hard to know whether our expectations in a relationship are good or bad. You may think if you treat other people well, they will treat you the same way, however, it is not always the case. If you have ever ended up having expectations in a relationship that never really turned out to be the reality, there is a high chance you felt betrayed, possibly even offended at times.
How to protect your relationship from unrealistic expectations?
It is believed that our unrealistic expectations originate from one of the illusions we have formed during our childhood. Same as perfectionism, our relationship expectations can seem to be too perfect to ever come true. It does not matter if your brother or sister has a perfect relationship - yours could be just as perfect, however, you must be aware of who you date and how you are as a person. If you are not romantic and you basically never show that side of yours, it is pretty unrealistic to expect from your partner to be very romantic with you. It is extremely important to set healthy limits on your expectations and if possible talk about them with your significant other.
Knowing how to set healthy limits on your expectations will relieve you of the pressure you feel, as well as help your partner feel free to open up and be themselves. - It is quite hard to be yourself when you are around someone who constantly throws in some unrealistic expectations and never openly talks about them as they should.
How to avoid these unrealistic expectations?
It is extremely necessary for us to be aware of what we want from our partners and know what we want out of our relationships. Sadly, most of us either overdo the whole idea of expectations and knowing what we want, or we simply completely forget about it all. Finding a middle ground between these two is not an easy thing, and it is usually one of the things we learn the more experience we have with relationships in general.
There is a very thin line between actually knowing your own goals and being pretentious. If you are feeling disappointed and you are constantly fighting with your significant other, it might be that you have set some unrealistic expectations in your relationship. Before blaming it all on your partner, sit down, have a talk and figure out whether you are expecting too much. Do not be one of those people who will abandon a good relationship just because you keep on making negative comparisons to an idealized relationship you have seen between your sister and her boyfriend or your best friend and their husband. Every relationship is different so wanting to have a relationship the same as someone else does is truly unrealistic and will most likely lead to a break up in the end.
There is another very thin line between unrealistic expectations of love and realistic relationship expectations as well. If you want to build a relationship that lasts, you surely want to know how to keep your expectations realistic and talk about them with your partner. There are many questions to ask your partner and if they are the right one, they will gladly answer them all.
Here are some of the most common unrealistic expectations of a man and a woman:
Men tend to have an overly-sexual view of the women they date or like. They expect sexual gratification without even understanding the woman as a human being and her needs in return.
Women tend to think a man should meet all of their demands without giving them any satisfaction in return
Men tend to be logical creatures, they do not like to sit around overthinking why their woman is the way she is, while women will often do exactly that
Some women in a relationship tend to provide sexual gratification to their man, however, they disregard their own needs to do so.
Both men and women tend to feel rather ''protected'' upon getting into a relationship. This often leads to less self-care, lack of communication, disinterest and many other negative effects afterward.
If you have found yourself in any of this, it is still possible for you to see it all differently. Understand that all-important, actually good relationships are all about equal trades, there is no space and time for selfish and one-sided demands in a good relationship.